RELIGIOUS ADDICTION & ABUSE
I. Abuser/Abused Feelings
- Abused feels shame, fear, guilt, low self-esteem, trapped, isolated, helpless, inadequate.
- Abuser feels power, control, avoidance of feelings.
- True for all abuse including religious abuse. Religious abuse and religious addiction go hand-in-hand.
II. Religious Addiction - What Is It?
Using religion as an escape from reality in an attempt to elevate a sense of self-worth. Using God as a Fix. Feeling worthless in and of ourselves, we turn to God and/or religion to feel worthwhile.
The great lie of all addiction is that something outside of us will make us feel better about ourself.
Symptoms of Religious Addiction:
- Inability to think for oneself, question authority, or doctrine;
- Black and white thinking, nothing is in-between, better of two bad options, or gray;
- Shame-based beliefs: the Sinner, Not good enough, Flawed;
- Magical thinking, God will fix me;
- Rigid, obsessive adherence to rules;
- Uncompromising, jugmental attitude; and
- Progressive detachment from real world, isolation, and break down of relationships.
III. Religious Abuse - What is It?
You are the Abused: If, in the name of God, we have been made to feel fear, guilt, shame,
condemnation, or self-condemnation, and/or have been coerced into giving up our power or choice.
You are the Abuser: If we use religion or spirituality as a means to acquire power, control,
financial or sexual favors.
IV. Symptoms of Religious Abuse
Many persons toss out religion/christianity because of former abuse. Some turn to new age or
eastern religions. The result is unhealed individuals who are alienated from their past and the
roots of their culture. Adult Children of Religious Abuse have these qualities:
- Judge themselves without mercy;
- Have difficulty having fun;
- Take themselves very seriously;
- Have difficulty with intimate relationships;
- Overreact to changes over which they have no control;
- Constantly seek approval and affirmation;
- Don't know what normal or appropriate behaviour is;
- Have trouble following a project through to the end;
- Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth;
- Usually feel different from other people;
- Are either super responsible or super irresponsible;
- Are extremely loyal even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
V. Recovery
Recovery from religious addiction or abuse is essentially the same as recovery from any
addiction or abuse. Steps in recovery are as follows:
- Accept the need for Help to change;
- Learn the symptoms and recognize the problem;
- Change behavior and get help as needed;
- Face and accept the feelings. Heal the wounds;
- Discover and recover a healthy spirituality and a healthy self-image.
Borrowed from a hand-out of unknown origin
